morsla | Distracted from the world at large (Reply)

Thanks to

Honor: You are an honorable person who is firm with
his/her beliefs and treats others as you are
treated. People would consider you humble at
times and very respectful, and someone to
definitely respect back.

Which Characteristic From the Samurai Code Matches You Best? (You may find out your best trait)
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Hmmmm...

Things that distract me from the world are handy, right now - I'm not sure if I'd rather keep waiting to find things out, or find out that the answers are all bad. I've just sent off an email about my job status, and the fact that I have been paid around $4 an hour (before tax) for the last month, while I've been waiting for them to recognise that I'm here full time now.

I might get an answer that says "don't come in next week," or one that says "well, you've now clocked up four weeks' unpaid overtime - guess you shouldn't come in for a while." A holiday would be nice - but I'd like to get paid for the past month of work, so I can keep paying my rent, and buying food.

Humans can't live on stress alone, but everything else seems to cost something.

I've had this

Pushit

I will choke until I swallow...
Choke this infant here before me.
What is this but my reflection?
Who am I to judge and strike you down?

But you're
Pushing and shoving me.
You still love me and you pushit on me.

Rest your trigger on my finger,
bang my head upon the fault line.
Take care not to make me enter.
'cause if I do we both may disappear.

But you're pushing me,
Shoving me. Pushit on me.

Slipping back into the gap again.
I'm alive when you're touching me,
Alive when you're shoving me down.

But i'd trade it all
For just a little bit of
Piece of mind.

Put me somewhere I don't wanna be.
Seeing someplace I don't wanna see.
Never wanna see that place again.

Saw that gap again today
As you were begging me to stay.
Managed to push myself away,
And you, as well.

If, when I say I may fade like a sigh if I stay,
You minimize my movement anyway,
I must persuade you another way.

There's no love in fear.

Staring down the hole again.
Hands upon my back again.
Survival is my only friend.
Terrified of what may come.

Just remember I will always love you,
Even as I tear your fucking throat away.
But it will end no other way

in my head since I woke up this morning... I found my Salival boxed set yesterday, and lost myself in it for a few hours.

"I'd trade it all, for just a little peace of mind..."