(no subject)

Delving deep in muscle memories, I found some things I thought I'd lost. There's the ghost of a person down there - if I strain my eyes I can see what I used to do, but if I close my eyes, I can feel it. Last night's class was much better than the previous week - I have started to take back the things I had forgotten.

I still need prompting for many parts of the forms, but I have an advantage on my side - I understand what these movements are designed for, instead of just their appearance. Everyone has a different build - the different ratios between wrist and elbow or elbow and shoulder will make two people look very different when they both perform a technique "properly." This is the reason why I love these arts. There is no expectation that you will copy a movement like a mirror image - instead, you have to find how you can do it.

Old understandings crept back last night, and I discovered that I can still anticipate how a movement works - on myself, and on someone else. Knowing how to pivot and step lets me apply more force than I otherwise could; knowing where limbs are and aren't supposed to go helps me to unbalance someone, or hit from angles that their anatomy isn't designed to sustain. With context, l can learn more clearly.

Seven years of training climbed back into my head, brushed off some cobwebs, and moved back in. The old cranium is a little worse for wear - it needs plenty more work, but it feels like home. I'm fairly sore from training, but nothing that some stretching won't fix. It's such a good feeling to reach out and find that things aren't permanently lost. It'll take a long time to properly get it back, but it's much easier to do when I seem to be making some visible progress.

In other news:

Golgotha is happening again on Sunday 12th of June. For those who have met Dan and Yaz (the other 2/3 of the combined 75th birthday last September...), this may be their last public appearance before they leave for England - their bags are (mostly) packed, and there's no return date planned. Come and join us! I need to dance.

VNV Nation should be touring in September! (Melbourne, September 3rd) Tickets are rumoured to be around the $50-ish mark. aeliel and I are going, despite ticket prices/final details/venue/the entire tour not being confirmed yet - we'll find a way :-)

See my shadow changing
stretching up and over me
soften this old armour
hoping I can clear the way by

stepping through my shadow
coming out the other side
step into my shadow
forty six and two are just ahead of me