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morslaThree years ago, my quest to become a fully fledged Mad Scientist entered a new phase. I started a new job, learning of rust and decay and how to bring low the edifices of man... and though I got to leave the lab after each day of work, part of me never really went home. I sold my spare time for the highest price I could, reaching for a chance to never stop moving, and threw myself into everything I saw - all at once.
When I left work on the 23rd, I stepped into that hazy limbo between one year and the next. No work, no committees, no obligations to anything but the need to stay alive. Sleep when tired. Eat when hungry. Move where you will, stop when you will. Feel alone, and alive, and free.
It's been less than two weeks, but it's been great. Thanks to everyone who helped make it what it was - by sharing it with me, or by giving me the space I was needing. The holiday's ending soon - two jobs start up again on Monday, and I'll be studying again in another month. Of course I'll miss it, but without work, how else would I appreciate my time away? I'd rather bounce between extremes than die the slow, grey death of entropy.
It was great seeing so many familiar faces at the club last night. Despite my best efforts on Wednesday night, I still managed to find the energy to stay 'til close again, and I finally made it in through my front door at half past ten this morning. More people at 'byss smile back when smiled at, compared to other clubs of late. Maybe one day, I'll try to find out about the people behind those smiles, but right now I just need the music and space to dance... in truth, my attention spans only as far as my arms reach. Most of the time, I scarcely notice anyone except as moving shapes to weave my way through. On the dancefloor, there is only momentum, direction, and rhythm - everything else is left far behind...
Off the dancefloor, I said hi to a few people at the last Psychonaught. And Necropolis, and Abyss, as the nights died... but I learned my lesson. While it may be quiet enough to speak, once the music ends, people are often in no mood to talk to strangers once the music/adrenalin/alcohol/acid trip is wearing off :)
Oh well... guess I'll just keep on keeping to myself. If anyone feels like coming up to talk, I'll try not to be too surly... but I'm getting tired of bouncing off other people's indifference. No insult intended to those who were friendly, though - you people made my night ;)
The long walk home on New Year's Day was a welcome chance to stretch my legs, and clear my thoughts and lungs. Last night, though,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jilavre reminded me again what a fantastic friend she is, by driving back to the club to give me back my phone, and take me home.
I need at least, oh, maybe a week away from clubs, though :P My body is broken, my wallet empty, my sleeping patterns nonexistent. Through the haze, curiosity still tantalises me - will they be there? Will that song come on? Hope keeps skipping ahead, not realising that the rest of me lags behind.
A week of work should keep me out of trouble, though. Besides, there's still another - what - six days until Psychonaught is on next? Plenty of time to recover...
When I left work on the 23rd, I stepped into that hazy limbo between one year and the next. No work, no committees, no obligations to anything but the need to stay alive. Sleep when tired. Eat when hungry. Move where you will, stop when you will. Feel alone, and alive, and free.
It's been less than two weeks, but it's been great. Thanks to everyone who helped make it what it was - by sharing it with me, or by giving me the space I was needing. The holiday's ending soon - two jobs start up again on Monday, and I'll be studying again in another month. Of course I'll miss it, but without work, how else would I appreciate my time away? I'd rather bounce between extremes than die the slow, grey death of entropy.
It was great seeing so many familiar faces at the club last night. Despite my best efforts on Wednesday night, I still managed to find the energy to stay 'til close again, and I finally made it in through my front door at half past ten this morning. More people at 'byss smile back when smiled at, compared to other clubs of late. Maybe one day, I'll try to find out about the people behind those smiles, but right now I just need the music and space to dance... in truth, my attention spans only as far as my arms reach. Most of the time, I scarcely notice anyone except as moving shapes to weave my way through. On the dancefloor, there is only momentum, direction, and rhythm - everything else is left far behind...
"...tonight you can't put me
up on any shelf
'cause I came here alone
I'm gonna leave by myself..."
up on any shelf
'cause I came here alone
I'm gonna leave by myself..."
Off the dancefloor, I said hi to a few people at the last Psychonaught. And Necropolis, and Abyss, as the nights died... but I learned my lesson. While it may be quiet enough to speak, once the music ends, people are often in no mood to talk to strangers once the music/adrenalin/alcohol/acid trip is wearing off :)
Oh well... guess I'll just keep on keeping to myself. If anyone feels like coming up to talk, I'll try not to be too surly... but I'm getting tired of bouncing off other people's indifference. No insult intended to those who were friendly, though - you people made my night ;)
The long walk home on New Year's Day was a welcome chance to stretch my legs, and clear my thoughts and lungs. Last night, though,
jilavre reminded me again what a fantastic friend she is, by driving back to the club to give me back my phone, and take me home.I need at least, oh, maybe a week away from clubs, though :P My body is broken, my wallet empty, my sleeping patterns nonexistent. Through the haze, curiosity still tantalises me - will they be there? Will that song come on? Hope keeps skipping ahead, not realising that the rest of me lags behind.
A week of work should keep me out of trouble, though. Besides, there's still another - what - six days until Psychonaught is on next? Plenty of time to recover...
