Changing with the tide

[morsla]

Once, a cancelled train would frustrate me. I'd fume alongside the other disgruntled commuters, channeling low-grade hate like devoted little cogs in the machine, fuelling the public transport system with stress and fear. Ever wondered where that morning vibe comes from on a train? It's not the air you're breathing, or the decor. You're swimming in a morass of confused thoughts and worries, emotions not shed but smeared on the surrounding world. It fills your pores and drags you down - and then you get to start your workday.

One solution, perhaps, is to diffuse that frustration throughout all the structures that enclose you. By remembering how much I would rather be outdoors, the need to be cooped up in a car/tram/bus/train was broken. A delay is just a pause, an excuse to be ouside again.

I have had every second train home cancelled in the past week, but I'm the loon who grins and keeps walking to the end of the platform, laughing at the drones huddled out of the rain. I'm glad for my brief glimpses of the weather. Glad enough that I'll happily wait in the rain, remembering what it feels like to walk away from an office filled with dry air and the hum of fans. I won't stay in an office forever.

Sometime soon, I want to go back to the beach. When winter starts to settle in, and the wind blows a gale. When I can walk blindly into the wind, remembering all the times I've walked that path before; alone, and with company. That fine line where the sand meets the sea keeps changing, but I remember where my footsteps were.

I must keep reminding myself of this...

If there were no rewards to reap
No loving embrace to see me through
this tedious path I’ve chosen here
I certainly would’ve walked away

By now...

Comments

[jilavre.livejournal.com]

*is jealous of beach thoughts soon realised*

[bishi-wannabe.livejournal.com]

I always prefer trams breaking down while you're on it, so that you have more time away from work reading or playing Game Boy, out of the rain or cold or heat. ^_^