Gowns and funny hats...

[morsla]

Seven years of studying, and I went to my first graduation ceremony last night. It wasn't mine, though - despite my two-year head start, my "little" sister beat me by a month, and has twice as many bits of paper to show for it...

At least the event convinced me of one thing - I could never become a career academic, if only because that I don't deal well with straight-faced pomp and ceremony. I know it's supposed to be a serious occasion, but it's hard not to be a little irreverant about it all :) The night has got me thinking about things, though - what I've done, what I might do next. Getting a piece of paper is possibly the least important thing to me, as it only represents the subjects studied and the marks recieved. The most important things I've learned over the years had nothing to do with my coursework - they came from organising things, participating in things, being involved in the world. The things I learned in clubs and committees have stayed relevant in all other parts of my life, but my coursework is rarely anything more than trivia.

I first started at the uni in a BA/BSc course - 500 points (five years) of undirected rambling through two huge faculties. After three years, I took off to work for a semester. The following March I started to juggle 2 days work with 3-4 days uni, and continued doing so all the way until last November...

I came from high school with a burning desire to Go Somewhere with chemistry - I was good at it, I enjoyed doing it, and I liked where I could go with it. I was talked out of doing a pure chemistry course, and ended up mixing chem with History and Philosophy of Science - something that I ended up doing a complete major in. My love of chemistry faded, as I looked around at the chemistry postgrads and academics - I didn't want to end up like that, so firmly stuck in my box that I couldn't see the rest of the world around me. So I shuffled my plans a bit, and included a few Geology subjects.

Later, I split up my course, turning it into a pair of undergrad degrees. HPS went into a BA (Media and Communications); a new course that had appeared while I was working full time. I had high hopes for the course, but I never finished it - half way through, I just couldn't see what I could get out of it. I had no intention of using the course for academic media studies, but had hoped that I could pick up enough media skills to mix them with my science background. I was wrong... I was in the wrong uni for a practical course, and already had a theoretical arts background from my other major. Without any obvious new skills to learn, my interest waned, and I dropped the course.

The other subjects went into a BSc, which I bloated by fitting in a second major (overextending the course) in Geology. This was (and is) a field that I feel comfortable in... it's a department where the staff are passionate about what they teach, but are (mostly) still connected to reality. I ended up spending last year working on a Geochemistry honours project, examining inclusion crystals (garnet, pryoxene) in diamond. I dropped the ball at the end of the year, and didn't do nearly as well as I could have - and my supervisor knew it. He has still approached me about doing a PhD, but right at the moment I don't want to go down that path. While it opens a lot of options later on, it also puts on another set of blinkers - and I refuse to stop looking around me.

In a month's time I'll be the one walking up to collect my own bit of paper, a BSc (Hons). While I haven't failed a subject in the 575 points I ended up studying and I've picked up four years of experience at work, irrational bits in my mind still wonder whether I really should have taken so many different roads before only finishing one of them. I've been at the uni for three years longer than most of the people collecting the same certificate, and don't have anything concrete to show for it.

Conclusions? Don't have any, sorry. I'm still mulling this over, because I'm honestly not sure what I'm doing right at the moment. Other thoughts and perspectives are welcomed... I'm having trouble seeing it all while I'm standing in the middle of it.

It is far better to give work that is above a person, than to educate the person to be above their work.
- John Ruskin

One never goes further than when they do not know where they are going.
- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Comments

[virtual-munkee.livejournal.com]

The dispassionate intellect, the open mind, the unprejudiced observer, exist in an exact sense only in a sort of intellectualist folk-lore; states even approaching them cannot be reached without a moral and emotional effort most of us cannot or will not make.
Wilfred Batten Lewis Trotter (1872-1939) English surgeon.

thought u needed a quote or two bello.. to match ur own... i think u kick my ass as a scientist still ben! i dont think any of ur time at uni was wasted, otherwise i would never have met u and collected u into my "friends" jar!!! i dont think u need to pass a judgement on the last few years of uni and where u could have ended up... just think about all the possibilities u still have, cause i am sure there are a-plenty! *HUGS*

[submystical.livejournal.com]

I think that life is full of many different roads. Which ones to take and not to take are not that clear until you start down them. I think it is better to start down one path and have the confidence and foresight to change to another rather than feeling that you must continue on the path chosen just because it was the path chosen.

To be quite honest I don't know anyone who finished their degree and then afterwards knew exactly what they wanted to do. Look around at the people you know.. sure I guess there are some people who knew exactly what they wanted finished their degrees in the alloted time and even got a job the year before graduating to start as soon as they finished. Can't think of anyone like that though. You? When I finished my degree what I saw lying in front of me was quite daunting. For the last 16 years I had always known what I would do the next year whether it be school or uni. But what then when all of that is finished and you have no idea where to next?

I personally think that the fact you were able to change your path many times and finally to find a subject which you were truly comfortable in is a great thing. I myself graduated thinking that although I like CS I'm not sure if I'd like to go and work as a programmer. And recently even though I've been looking for computer related jobs, preferably programming, I'm still not sure. I'm now even thinking of going back to uni and starting a science degree again and go back to my first love physics. Even though I quite physics at uni after the first semester. I've even thought about going back to study maths or get my honors in CS. Hell I've even toiled with the idea of learning more about tarot and that sort of stuff, even though I have serious doubt as to the potential of a future in that.

Anyway I'm rambling now. What I want to really say is that any paths that you take are not a waste of time. I think that they are all part of the same path anyway. Where you are now you could not have gotten to quicker. All of the paths that you have taken up to this point have lead you up to where and who you are now. Don't think about what you could have done or where you could be now. I really love that quote by Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe that you posted because it really is quite true. Perhaps oneday after going through life without knowing where you're going you'll look back at all you have done and realise that you have in fact done quite a lot and seen and learnt many things.

Sorry for the long post. Hope it makes sense and gives you a bit of a different perspective. BTW: just by thinking about it a bit and looking at your post you wouldn't happen to be an INTP??

[virtual-munkee.livejournal.com]

scuse the ignorance, wats an INTP?

[virtual-munkee.livejournal.com]

just worked it out!! i think i am an ETJF or ENFP or something...

[morsla.livejournal.com]

Architect? Not really, although I don't really like the Myer-Briggs classifications much. I could answer questions on a test quite honestly while in 3-4 different moods, and get 3-4 different answers. Extrovert/Introvert change a lot, but is usually Extrovert; iNtuition almost always beats Sensing. Thinking/Feeling also changes a lot, while Perception always seems to beat Judgement.

Long posts are good! So much better than one-word replies, at any rate :) Different perspectives are also always good - it's always nice to find out how other people see things.

I know a few people who did the minimum-time degrees, got jobs, and graduated - most of the Geo honours crew, in fact. I didn't want to work on a minesite - hell, I didn't even want to work as a scientist, which made me the odd one out ;)

[morsla.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm glad that I spent all those years there - the most valuable things I got from the uni were my friends, and the skills I learned *around* the subjects I studied. Every now and again I look at the people who went straight through and started working, and wonder if I should have followed them... instead of a batchelor's degree, I could have spent exactly the same time getting a doctorate.

Then I remember that most of those people are happy doing what they're doing, but I wouldn't be. I'm happier knowing that what I want isn't particularly "normal" - and knowing that, I have a better chance of finding it.

[morsla.livejournal.com]

Actually, I just dug up an old entry (10-3-04) with my last test, and got exactly the same result as today (ENFJ) - they just called it something different (Persuader instead of Teacher). Maybe I'm more consistent than I thought...

[virtual-munkee.livejournal.com]

i like what kuan said... makes lotsa sense!! its all the one path, who is to say one chosen direction is better than another? its all one big experience, in my opinion. and u can only learn from it and make a better decision the next time round :)

[submystical.livejournal.com]

Well as you may have worked out from Morsla's post INTP is a psychological classification of personality. This particular one is called Myer-Briggs and is quite common. It uses 4 paired attributes(?): to make up 16 different individual types. The attributes are Extrovert-Introvert, iNtuite-Sensate, Thinker-Feeler, Judger-Perceiver. (Or something like that).
If you're interested do a search on the net and you can take some online versions based on the test. Most of them are crap and I've seen some which have simplified the whole thing down into just 4 questions. On a good one though the will have many many questions and each question won't just be aimed at one of the four paired scales. You should then be given a percentage or scale to see exactly how much you are towards each attribute. As Morsla said when you take the test it can depend on how you are feeling at the time and you can also change over time. This is especially true for people which are border-line for any of the pairs. Try it out... it's kind of interesting... and make sure you find a site which has a better description of each type rather than just a single catch all word. Each type has a wide range of types of people (that may seem to not make sense but bare with me). The personality types I think reflect more how people act and think rather than exactly a direct correlation to what career etc that thay will choose. After all there are more than just 16 different professions and just because you are in the same profession as another person it doesn't mean that you will be best friends and think the same etc. There's a lot of cross over. I still think it is interesting to look at though.

[submystical.livejournal.com]

Really depends on the test... as I wrote above. I'm an INTP (as you may have guessed) and thought I saw signs of that in you. But it was probably the N coming through. And I'd suspect that most of yours are pretty border line. Anyway it doesn't matter. I was just curious. You don't have to pigeon hole yourself. You are who you are.

[futurelegend.livejournal.com]

I was a little disappointed and snarky when I discovered the other day that, on close inspection, the signatures on my bits of paper were just PRINTED ON, not actually signed. Those bits of paper are a sign of achievement for me, (not that I rate the courses that highly) - a sign of all the pain and effort I put in to get them (and the eventual triumph :) - I suppose I wanted the respect/acknowledgement/understanding of that from the lofty heights of academia. Meh.

I know that I was very lucky to have picked a course of study from the start that I am happy to also work in.

And in your case especially, unimelb didn't exactly provide you with all the information you needed to find a 'perfect' course. (Indeed, they don't offer such a thing as 'the course that Ben wants to have done'. Not believing in practical anything, as they do.)

don't have anything concrete to show for it

you know you do. you have stuff far more valuable than three years in the workforce. it's in your eyes, your attitude, what you say, what you do, how you feel.