Perhaps there is another way to move forward

[morsla]

So.

Last week, I went back to hell. I dragged myself down there, not realising where I was headed until things were far too late. I can blame nobody but myself for that - I had left myself open, and forgotten how easy it always used to be to fall. It's been a while, but some things never change.

I didn't make it back on my own, though. Thankyou, aeliel and jilavre. You remind me why I keep going, and you both mean more to me than I can say. One day I hope I can find the words to express it. Away from the light of day, little fears and doubts gnaw away at me - now that I've dragged them out into the open, I can see that they shouldn't paralyse me any longer. Thank you for putting up with me so far.

My self imposed job for the week is delegation. After Saturday, I will have shed most of the responsibilities and time committments that I've taken on, and I can finally have some time for myself. I dont want to be so free that I drift away, with no ties to keep me here - I've been there before and it is death. This time I know that I have enough to keep me grounded here.

I think I've walked a marathon since Thursday evening. To the river end of Bridge Road and back to North Melbourne. Around the city three times. To Southbank from home, via previously unknown parkland in the Docklands. Home from the river, via Parkville and Melbourne Uni. I've found good spots for free running, and better spots for firesticks and poi. We still need a site for Inappropriate Use Of Playgrounds Day, though (recklessly leaping across your social calendar soon).

The current's mouth below me opens up around me
Suggests and beckons all while swallowing
It surrounds and drowns and sweeps me away

Comments

[fasangel.livejournal.com]

Don't do that - naughty. You have to stay with us. And find a playground.

[morsla.livejournal.com]

I think fetnas mentioned that the biggest problem is finding a playground that we haven't already misused... I'm keeping an eye out, though.

And thankyou. Reacquainted with what it's like down there, I don't intend to go back any time soon. Of course, you never intend to, but I'm watching where I step now.

I know a playground!

[fetnas.livejournal.com]

There is a massive adult sized playground just outside Mildura. Some guy went nuts with a welder and made a mini theme park! It even has a rollercoaster that doesn't require and power. You push the thing to the top of a ram and get in then let the thing go.

It's an extremely dangerous place, but I'm sure we could manage to missuse it.

Just checked a map, the town is Monash just over the SA border.

Anyone up for a road trip?

Re: I know a playground!

[delphaeus.livejournal.com]

ooo oo road trip to watch the more athletic ones almost die! sounds grand

Re: I know a playground!

[mousebane.livejournal.com]

It has flying foxes! And I love flying foxes.

And really close to Mildura is also Snakes and Ladders a once childhood haunt of a playground. It had the biggest slide I've ever been on.

Re: I know a playground!

[futurelegend.livejournal.com]

YES. Especially since I *almost* have a car too :)

Re: I know a playground!

[morsla.livejournal.com]

Well, if you have a car by the time the weather isn't so tendon-snappingly cold, join the road trip :)

It also gives me some more time to strengthen my ankles and knees.

[psuedonym777.livejournal.com]

We all fall sometimes dude. It is part of the human condition. What shows the measure of the man is what he does once he has fallen. You got back up, looked to your friends for support, and fought your way clear. Can't ask for better than that. :o)

Also what is this reckless playground affair? My body has not been abused enough recently, this may be an opportunity to correct that. *insane grin*

[futurelegend.livejournal.com]

I know all too well what you mean about ties to this earth.

You do know that you have quite a few of them right? Even though not all of us have been around/involved lately..

(I wish my friends' angst didn't so closely parallel my own sometimes. heh.)

Be well. xo